Encounter

"Damn it kid, it's in our other hand!"

I glared at Tom over our combined shoulder.  "Must you ruin everything?"

The kid, Sammy, a young black boy of about six, giggled.

"Great, now we're a comedy magician duo."  Tom said through clenched teeth.  "Watch out Amazing Jonathan!"

Sammie lost interest in us when his mother came back in, carrying a platter containing cookies and three glasses of lemonade.  "I'm sorry, uh, detectives, I wasn't sure if you used one glass or two.

I laughed, spitting out the sip of lemonade I had just taken.  "I'm sorry.  If only more people were as considerate as you.  Anyways," I began my question as she took a seat in the recliner across from us, "It was you who discovered the first shrunken head?"

Another tidbit

Ten Million to one.  Those were the odds they gave our mother that we'd survive through the night.  Those were the same odds that the doctor gave us for a week.  Then a year, after that, our chances improved.  It was five million to one that we would live until the age of five.  Then it was a million to one.  A single million to one chance that we'd make it to ten, and then that chance became closer to half a million to one that we would become adults.

It all started thirty three years ago…
"I'm hungry."
"Damn it Tom, can't you see I am reminiscing here?  And you're not hungry."
"How the hell do you know if I'm hungry?"
I opened my mouth to answer but he told me to shut up.
"And no, I can't see you reminiscing, if I turn my head, I get a look in your ear, which needs cleaning out by the way, but that's it.  I can't see your face unless you look at me too, and that put's our lips…"
If you have ever seen two people shudder at the same time, that is kind of what we did, but we only have one pair of shoulders between the two of us, and sometimes his shuddering cancels mine out, and we just look as if we've seized up for a moment.

My name is Tim, and the other guy, that's Tom.  We're twins.  Conjoined twins. 

"Can't we just get a snack?"  Tom whined.

"Fine.  There are some apples in the crisper."

"I know that, I put them there."

"We put th… why do I bother."  I shook my head.

Better than one.

I'm ordinary… or so I like to tell myself.

I woke up this morning, rolled out of bed, scratched my backside and brushed my teeth, much like you probably did.  I took a shower, washed both heads of hair, spent some time in an internal, well, mainly internal, at least until I got the english muffins down, debate about what to have for breakfast.  That's when Tom, that's my other heads name by the way, saw what I had chosen to put into our stomach.

The doctors had told our mother that we were conjoined twins.  We share all organs, only have two arms and two legs, just like you, but we have two heads.

"What does it matter what I eat?"  I argued.

"I don't like english muffins!"

"But I do, and I'm the one eating them, we don't share taste buds you ass."

That shut him up, for now at least.  Man was he an ass when he woke up this morning.  But, I probably would be too if I was woken up by someone putting me in the shower.

"What's on tap for today?"  I asked as he grabbed the morning paper in our left hand, our right carrying the now buttered english muffin to the table.

"Well, we got that call last night about the stolen painting, we could try and track down the thief."