Wednesday, August 8, 2012


"Hey Jonathan!"

I held up my hand, stopping Steve, the Demon of Inspiration, in his tracks.  "Not now, I'm busy,"  I mumble.

"But!"  I throw my best shut up or I will kill you look his way, and for once, he takes the hint.

"MJ?  Where are the keys?"  I call out.

"Kitchen table, I think.  Why?"

I sigh, defeated.  "Going to Lowes."


"Yeah, I got the toilet back together and it's still leaking,"  I sigh, defeated.

"Oh, honey," she says sympathetically.  Unfortunately, it is a part I need, not sympathy.

"I'll drive,"  Steve says as he walks by, the keys to our green Escape hanging from his tail.

I grab for them, but he moves his tail at the last moment and I miss.  "Like hell you will.  Give me those!"

He relents, but not before making it clear that he is going with me.

"Fine, we're leaving now though,"  I pull the door shut behind me as I leave the house.  We're on the highway in minutes, flying along at nearly eighty miles an hour, the Demon's head hanging out the window, his tail smacking me in the face.  "Quit it!"

He pulls his head back into the vehicle.  "You know, there's a Demon of Plumbing,"  He says matter-of-factly.

"Yeah his name's Wario," I reply with a smirk.  "Damn it!"  I shout as I smell the sulfer and hear the audible pop as the new demon appears in my back seat.

"Actually, my name is Matthew."

I peer into the rear view mirror, a small blue man, reminding me of a Smurf, without the pants and hat, is sitting on the back of the rear seat.  I look again at the road in front of me and have to hit the breaks to avoid a merging car.  I curse again.  Look at Steve, who is wearing his own smirk.  "Why can't one of you guys show up wearing pants?"  I ask.

I exit the highway, pull into the Lowes parking lot.  Exit the car and hang my head as I walk into the store, followed by a pair of naked demons.

"OOH!"  I hear Steve exclaim as we pass the riding lawn mowers inside the door.

"Ok, Matthew," I hiss, "What do I need to fix my toilet?"

"Follow me!"  He says, using his tiny blue tail to indicate the same.

"Color me impressed," I tell him as we actually end up in the plumbing section of the store.

He begins to climb the shelving, knocking over a can of purple pvc glue.  "Oops."

I catch it as it rolls off the shelf, set it back upright.

"You'll need a pack of these, and these."  He points at some bolts and washers.

"I've got those."  I tell him.

"Oh, then what about this?"  He uses his tail to indicate an out of place faucet.

"And how would that fix the toilet?"

"Oh, I misheard you, I thought you said," He runs his hand in front of his mouth and mumbles something I can't quite make out.  "You need Jacques, he's the Demon of Toilets."

Steve chuckles at this, "Yeah he is..."

"No!  I am not falling for that."  But I realize too late that I already have, as a naked, orange demon appears next to Matthew and gives him a high five.

"I give up," I say as a store employee walks up, his blue vest proclaiming his name to be Timothy.

"Finding everything all right sir?"  He asks.

I shake my head.  "You know, not really, I think I just need a new toilet..."

No comments:

Post a Comment