After a bit of a break, I had planned on coming at you with the first story written on my new (Notion Ink) Adam, but Steve smacked me upside the head and this fell out. I will do a write up on the Adam at some point, for those that are curious.
“Open up, this is the police,” came a shout, accompanied by pounding on the front door of Paul’s house. Groggily, he got out of bed and glanced at the clock, it read 1:00, and the AM light was taunting him.
The pounding came again, followed by “Open up Mr. Jackson, we know you are in there!”
“Daddy,” Tanya, Paul’s four year old daughter, came out of her room, rubbing her eyes with one hand and holding her stuffed rabbit, “Bunny”, by it’s ears with her other.
“Shh, go back to bed sweetie, it must be a mistake.” Paul assured her before descending the stairs.
“We will force the door if you do not answer Mr. Jackson!”
“All right, I’m coming,” Paul shouted, flipping the foyer light on before opening the door.
“Mr. Jackson?” The speaker was slightly shorter than Paul’s six foot one frame, and a lot pudgier.
“Yes?” Paul said, wondering why there were three police officers on his front porch.
“Our scanners have detected that someone in this household is using drugs.”
“Is everything ok honey?” Elizabeth called down from the top of the stairs.
“I don’t know yet dear, but you may want to check on Carl.” Paul responded.
“Who is Carl Mr. Jackson?”
“Carl is my son, Officer…” Paul let his voice trail off, not seeing a name plate on the overweight man.
“Smith, Ricky Smith. Like I was saying sir, our scanners detected that someone at this residence has been using drugs. This will go a lot smoother if you cooperate.”
“What scanners are you talking about?”
“The BWS system is hooked up to every house in this neighborhood sir, it was on the contracts when you bought the house.”
“That is correct, the Biological Waste Scanner, it monitors what is flushed down your toilets and alerts our department to any potential law breakers.”
“Oh,” Paul thought he knew what Officer Smith was talking about, but at one in the morning, he could not be too sure. “So you think someone here is doing drugs?”
“Yes sir, urine from this house tested positive for cocaine, so if you could bring the offender forward, we will take them and be out of your hair.”
“You seriously want me to believe that you have someone monitoring what is in our shit?”
“Mostly urine sir, and not someone, it is all done by Orbis.”
“Orbis?” Paul could not believe what he was hearing.
“Organic and Biological Scanner, really sir, it is all in your paperwork. Could you please bring the user forward?” Paul could tell by Officer Smith’s stance that it was more of a demand than a question.
“No one in this house is on drugs!” Paul scoffed.
“Paul, what’s the problem?” Elizabeth shouted down from upstairs again.
“They think we’re on drugs.”
“No sir, we only think a single individual is on drugs. And,” he peered at a clipboard he had in his hand, ”that individual is a he.”
“You think I am doing drugs?”
“You did say you have a son, am I correct Mr. Jackson,”
“Yes I do, but he is only eighteen months old.”
“Oh,” Smith pursed his lips and reached for his handcuffs. “Mr. Jackson, then I have no other choice but to place you under arrest for the use of illegal narcotics.”
“Wait, I’m not on drugs!” Paul protested, rather loudly.
“Our scanners don’t lie sir. Someone at precisely,” he glanced at the clipboard again, “Three twenty two yesterday afternoon, used one of your restrooms and tested positive for cocaine.”
“Wait a minute, I was at work then, tell them Liz!” He said as his wife joined him at the front door. He looked at her only to discover she was crying. “What?”
“Paul, I didn’t mean for it to happen,” she sobbed.
Defeated, Paul looked at Officer Smith and then back at his wife. “Who?”
“You mean the lawn guy?” He stormed out the front door, pushing past the officers.
“Ma’am, where can we find this Gary?”