My name is Mark III. Depending upon how you are reading this, that may look like ILL, but let me assure you it is not. To the many acquaintances I have had throughout the years, I would like to say thank you for your friendship, and good bye, for I have been recalled. I have been on this planet for about 85 years now. I have been forced to move many times because of my agelessness, and therefore have experienced many things
In my parting I would like to clear up a few of the mysteries that have plagued the human race in my time here. First, there was a second gunman. It was me. Kennedy had discovered what I was and he had been planning on announcing it to the world. I could not let that happen. Second, Jimmy Hoffa was Mark II, he got recalled as well, on July 30, 1975. This letter is to ensure that my disappearance is explained, unlike his. Third, I would like to clarify something about Elvis. You know the older looking Elvis impersonator in Vegas. The one that has been there forever? Yeah, not an impersonator. The final mystery I would like to clear up, is the mullet. Where I am from…
I have just been informed that my time here is up. Thank you for your hospitality. If it is in my makers plans, I would like to visit again.