Saturday, October 30, 2010

Hollow World Chapter 15


Clink, Clink, Clink.

Sam would bear watching. The Pennyman watched him, left arm already beginning to peel from the sunburn, walk out of the hole he had been hiding in for the last two days.

The Pennyman had dealt with Sara and the heart attack. Dallas had finally finished burning. He had been to the charred pit that was Fort Worth. At Their request. He had been very busy since Sara. New York. Los Angeles. Orlando. Washington DC. Seattle. All burned. He had even been through Hollywood. The iconic mountainside sign was nothing more than a burnt skeletal frame

His bag had taken on a weightless feeling. Maybe he had just gotten used to its heft. He was back in Texas now, Bowie to be exact.

The country’s remaining populace were moving north and west, or south, or east. Whatever it took to get them to Boulder City, or in some cases, White Sands. It was like watching ripples from a stone in a lake, only in reverse. The Ancients would meet in White Sands as well. All twenty-five of them. Regardless of how many bodies they used up between now and then.

He had four people to address right now. Looking over what was left of the bodies, he only really had two to attend to. There was not much left of Billy or Frank. Both had been standing right next to the building when the glass had come flying out. What had survived of those two was burnt to a crisp.

The Pennyman ignored them and walked over to Craig’s body. Bending over it, he placed an obol in Craig’s mouth. He then looked for where the blast had deposited Jimmy. The unfortunate man rested on a metal grate that covered an office window near where Sam had been looking out. The bars had been bent and Jimmy had been impaled upon one.

Jimmy looked at The Pennyman as he approached. “Help,” he croaked.

Jimmy was not dead, that’s okay thought The Pennyman, I still have time…

The war was coming. The Ancients had told him so. Sides had been chosen. His place was not to choose. He knew his place. He knew his job.

Smiling, The Pennyman looked at Jimmy. I’ll be back he thought as he turned and walked away.

Clink. Clink. Clink.

If you read something you liked, didn't like, or just have a question about the story in general, I would love to hear from you. even if it is as minor as an misspelled word or a misplaced apostrophe, it made it this far so someone obviously missed it.

I take feedback seriously, it is the best way for me to improve and the easiest way for you to help me improve.


1 comment:

J. A. Platt said...

Oooh. I like the Pennyman's hard neutrality. It makes him more interesting and less likable at the same time.

The Pennyman watched him, left arm already beginning to peel from the sunburn, walk out of the hole he had been hiding in for the last two days. This mention of Sam seems very separate from what follows with Sara and the burned cities. Maybe give the Pennyman an action or some more context (where he's standing when he sees Sam) before he thinks about the cities to draw things together.

Dallas had finally finished burning. That gave me a chill.

The Ancients would meet in White Sands as well. this implies that there is another group headed for White Sands... is that Graham and his guys? It's a little unclear.

when the glass had come flying out... this sounds like the two guys would be cut up, not burned up. Maybe mention a fireball or the reach of the explosion.

Love that the Pennyman walks away from the dying Jimmy.

Post a Comment