Wednesday, September 29, 2010


A small piece inspired by a song that came up in my playlist the other day. The title of the piece is a hint as to what song. Have some fun guessing, although I did not make it hard.

Jesus was tired of his school. He knew his father spent a lot on the school. He told him it was the finest in town, but Jesus was tired of it.

All of the kids made fun of his name. And on top of that, they made fun of him for the way he helped his dad on the weekends.

His dad sold balloons on the weekend, and Jesus helped by blowing the balloons up. He knew he shouldn’t care that the other kids made fun of him for his dad’s job. His dad made more money than most of their parents. He had seen his father, sitting in there garage, counting it on many a night. Every once in a while, his father would look up at the framed issue of the New York Times.

“God is dead.” Said the headline. It was a Christmas day paper. His Grandpa Alvin had saved it and had it framed. It had cost Alvin a weeks pay to get the frame done at the time, and Jesus’ father cherished the thought behind it as well as the actual newspaper.

It was Sunday, and the piece of shrapnel that was imbedded in his dad’s chest was troubling him. He was proud that his father had served in World War II. But he wished his dad had come back uninjured. Absently, Jesus let a balloon loose, and watched as its red shape floated off into the Heavens. His dad gave him a sour look, but all Jesus could think about was how far those balloons could take him.

If you read something you liked, didn't like, or just have a question about the story in general, I would love to hear from you. even if it is as minor as an misspelled word or a misplaced apostrophe, it made it this far so someone obviously missed it.

I take feedback seriously, it is the best way for me to improve and the easiest way for you to hep me improve.


Will said...

I like the oxymoron of the child's name and the father's belief. The ending really excites me, too. The father feels earthbound, but Jesus looks beyond... at least that's my reading. Strong piece.

J. A. Platt said...

I like the casual mention of the shrapnel and the details about the newspaper and the frame. I get the feeling I'm missing something (maybe the song you're referencing explains more) but the passing references to his name being uncommon, the war, and the 'God is Dead' headline make this feel like the opening of a much longer piece.

Now I have to see if I can figure out what the song is.

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